Career Homework: Write Your Way Out of Fear

If you're like me, fear can sometimes take over my life. This can be especially true when it comes to my career.

I know that I'm operating out of fear when:

• My choices feel limited
• My thoughts start to take on an obsessive quality
• I feel "stuck" in a rut, just going through the motions because I can't (or won't) consider other options.
• I start seeing catastrophe everywhere and lose my sense of perspective about the situation.
• I get stubborn and defensive when someone tells me I'm operating from fear.

One exercise that has helped me in those moments is to write my way out of fear using a technique I got from Kathleen Adams' book, Journal to the Self. It's called the "List of 100."

The List of 100 Fears Exercise
Start by taking out a piece of paper and writing down 100 things that you fear right now. Don't worry if you feel like you're repeating yourself when you get toward the end. It doesn't matter. Just try to get down 100 things that are freaking you out.

Once you've completed your list, go back through and look for themes. Often these will include things like "financial concerns" or "worries about how significant others will react" or "fear of failure."

Mark each item in your list with one of the categories--for example, putting an "F" next to everything dealing with failure.

Now look at each of the categories to determine a percentage for each. For example, if you have 40 items marked with an F, you'll see that 40% of your fear is about failure. This exercise alone will start to tell you which parts of your fear deserve the most attention. Writing down your fears can also begin to dispel them.

You can stop here or you can move onto the next step, which is to put some reality next to your fears.

Fear vs. Reality
Now take a piece of paper and divide it in half. Look at the themes you want to work with from your list of 100. Head the left side of the paper with one of the themes (i.e., "Fear of Failure"). Write down each individual fear that you had.

Once you've completed your list, on the right side of the paper write the heading "Reality." Go through each of the individual fears and address it with a more accurate picture.

When I've done this exercise, for example, it's looked like this:

Fear--That I'll look stupid
Reality--Usually that doesn't happen--and even if it does, it's OK to make mistakes and not be perfect.

Fear--That I'll make a mistake.
Reality--It's OK if I make a mistake. In the past I've learned the most from my mistakes. And besides, if I'm not making mistakes, it generally means that I'm not taking any risks. I've never had growth in my life without taking risks.

As I go through and address each of my fears, I find that they diminish even more. At a minimum, I start to get a lot more perspective and I'm able to act more logically to address those areas of my fear where I have some control. This is an exercise I highly recommend when you start to feel stuck--it's a good way to get moving again.

What fears do you have and how do you deal with them?

Collages by Bellah.

Comments

[Lisa Gates]

Michelle, I just finished a post for later in the week, and went stumbling through my reader and found you here today. Blogger synchronicity always amazes me. I was writing about work-life balance and this line came out:

Having it all is a hamster wheel myth borne of fear.

I love this exercise you have here, and I'd love permission to share it with my readers.

My best.
L