How 7.5 Hours Can Change Your Life

Saturday was our first "Beyond the Glass Ceiling" career retreat and it was a phenomenal experience. Eighteen women, most in their 20s and 30s, spending 7.5 hours together to try to get greater clarity about where they are at and where they want to go for the future. I've written some of my reflections on the experience at my other blog, but two critical insights I gained are worth repeating.

Women Need a Space of Their Own to Reflect on and Plan for their Mission
In the 10 years that I've been helping people try to decide what they want to be when they grow up, I've found that men and women tend to approach the task differently and to have different concerns and issues.

At the risk of stereotyping, men seem very practical and task-focused, interested mostly in getting as quickly as possible to practical concrete issues like "list three goals" or "this is how you re-do your resume for a career change." They are also capable of--and very interested in--putting their careers in a box that's separate from the rest of their lives. Rarely have I heard men struggle with the right balance between career, family, friends and personal growth. Nor do they struggle with overcoming stereotypes about their commitment to work or how to be strong without coming off as a bitch.

Women, of course, deal with all of these issues and more. There's no way that you can just talk about career with a group of women because other parts of their lives spill over. Exploring a career mission really ends up being an exploration of life and how you want to live it. To give women the opportunity to explore these questions and share their experiences, you really need to work with them separate from men. You need to give them the space and the tools and the questions that let them really explore themselves in a setting that is safe and where everyone in the room "gets them." And as one retreat participant pointed out, "We get plenty of other opportunities to work on professional development with men, so it's nice to have a space that's dedicated to working with other women who know what you're going through."

Reflection is Critical, But You Have to Make Time for It
I think that for most of the women in the retreat, probably the best part was having 7.5 uninterrupted hours to think about themselves. Most of these women are so busy with work, family and friends, they've had little time to just sit with themselves. Everyone needs space and time for reflection, but I think it's particularly true for women. We have a tendency to worry so much about everyone else, we don't take the time for ourselves. I think that for a lot of the retreat participants, many of the issues they wrestled with on Saturday had been floating around in their heads for awhile. But it wasn't until they had some uninterrupted time to really think and explore that they were able to finally get some real clarity about how everything fit together and what to do with what they've been considering.

One of the biggest lessons from the retreat, at least for me, was that time spent with other women, dedicated to exploring values, strengths and career mission and goals was invaluable. It provided clarity, support and an opportunity to get advice from people who truly get the struggles that women sometimes feel. It was 7.5 hours that were life-changing.

Comments

[Maya Norton]

As a proud graduate of a women's college, I have certainly found the sanctity of women's space to be a defining characteristic in making us feel whole.

The retreat sounds like a great experience. I wish I could have been there. Would love to hear any more information or insights you'd like to share on how to create spaces like the one you did and what were the components of its success. (Have been following your other writings on it as well.)

Maya Norton

[Michele Martin]

Hi Maya--I went to a co-ed school, but in retrospect have seen how much value there would have been in going to an all-female college.

I'm hoping to do some write-ups about the experience over the holidays once my other work slows down a little. I'll definitely let you know when it's ready!

[Michele Martin]

One more thing, Maya--you may want to join the Beyond the Glass Ceiling community, too. Although not necessarily as great as face-to-face, we're still trying to have some discussions over there on all of these kinds of issues.

http://beyondtheglassceiling.ning.com/

[Jordan Retro 12]

A man is not good or bad for one action. We should communicate in-depth understanding of one's personality.

[Nike Shox Deliver]

Life is filled with lots of pleasure as long as we live comfident. Your blog brings me some changes about the concept of living.

[jordan 5]

It happens to be very apparent that there isn't any hard point (very little complicated) on the earth. if you happen to make up your head to try and do it, you will definitely achieve your finish. That stands to cause.